


What comes next

by joonmeetsevil



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not Related, Blood, Boys In Love, Graphic Depictions of Illness, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Idiots in Love, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Nuclear War, Survival
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-09 22:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12285231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joonmeetsevil/pseuds/joonmeetsevil
Summary: 2027 : the World as we know it has been annihilated by the Nuclear War. Presidents, influential scientists and multimillionaires hide from radiations in secret bunkers but Kim Jiwon isn't part of them. As one of the few survivors of South Korea, the young man tries to survive without really knowing why...





	1. This Is The End Of The World As We Know It

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a moodboard about doubleb surviving the apocalypse and I just had to... I'm so (not) sorry. 
> 
> [this fiction was initally written in french and is currently being translated to be published here so excuse the grammatical errors or weird sentences structures if there's any!]

Day 30 – 

It's only a month after the apocalypse that Kim Jiwon finally faced the fact that life would never be the same again. The last thirty days had only been a vain and exhausting attempt to protect his property : the family apartment in the midst of Seoul. For entire nights, he had leaned on the locked front door, praying to remain unhurt. Alas, his prayers manifestly hadn't been heard. 

The apartment had caught fire on the 29th day with the whole building and Jiwon had congratulated himself for having prepared a backpack, just in case. He had ran, almost fainting multiple times and his face had hit the floor once or twice before he finally escaped the burning building. Nevertheless, he succeeded and was now heading towards the North, in the subburbs of the city, with only his backpack. In it, there was his survival kit : three bottles of water, biscuits, a loaded gun with ammunitions that he bought to his neighbour before he ran away and his Pooh stuffie. To be honest, he would give his bag's entire content if he could keep his teddy in exchange... after all, sleeping was more important than eating, at the moment. 

The first day of walking had been rough and he had decided to keep his gun on his hip, ready to grab it at any moment. At 9pm, an hysterical man had threatened him with a kitchen knife near a gas station and Jiwon luckily had been able to knock him out and run away. At 9:30am, he cursed himself for not taking the knife before leaving. At 11am, a stray dog had pounced on his leg to bite in it so hard that it made the boy scream in pain and terror. He eventually came back to his senses and shot the dog in its leg, injuring the animal enough for it to back away without willfully killing it but even if he had, he would'nt have cared : it was going to die soon anyway. At noon, while he was limping on the deserted highway, he had to stop to cry a little because of the unbearable pain in his leg. He surprisingly fell asleep until 2pm and then, he got himself back up. He was wondering about sleeping in one of the cars abandonned on the highway (after throwing at least one dead body out of the vehicle, of course) but at 3pm, a bullet had skimmed his face. A man, young but tall and well-built, his ripped shirt completely soiled, had appeared from behind a bush on the side of the road, his hunting gun still pointed towards Jiwon. 

-What's in your bag?  
-W-water, snacks! I can give them to you, no need to kill me man, I'm gonna give 'em to you !

The other young man had made a weird noise between a sob and a laugh, and had lowered his gun. Shit, Jiwon had thought, it's only been a month and people are already going fucking nuts. The other had agressively pulled his bag from his shoulders to go through it and find the biscuits which he devoured in a few seconds. When he had finished, he had burped loudly before bursting out laughing. 

-Fuck, I was starving ! I'm Junhoe, by the way.  
-Jiwon.  
-Going somewhere ?  
-Not really... it became too dangerous downtown, 'm just looking for a safer place to stay.  
-Safer places are just good places to die of hunger and thirst in a few days, man. Bad idea.  
-If you say so. Wanna walk with me for a bit ?  
-'course I want to, you have food !

Junhoe had slapped him on the back in what apparently was a motivating move but Jiwon took advantage of this split second to grab the hunting gun.

-Eh, what the fuck ?!  
-If we're walking together I wanna make sure you won't kill me.  
-And how do I know you won't kill me ?  
-I would've done it already, instead of letting you eat my damn food.

Junhoe had rolled his eyes but he still had started walking on the endless highway, his fingers stuck into his mouth to get the biscuits' last crumbs. At 8pm, the two new friends -?- had finally settled in a abandoned factory, pieces of electronics still in place on the motionless conveyors. They were now laying in a dirty corner and Jiwon could perfectly imagine the scene he hadn't been there to see happening but that was replaying again and again in his mind. The workers doing their shitty job just like any other day, the deafening alarm signal reverberating everywhere in the factory and the streets around, the screams, the cries, the collective attempt to escape, the rush to get out of the building and get to their cars as if it would be enough. The said cars were still on the road all around the factory, the dead bodies of their drivers still inside, for those which hadn't been stolen during the thirty first days of the post-apocalypse. 

Radiations. No one could escape from them. 

Junhoe winced in his sleep and coughed violently, blood spurting from his throat onto the soiled floor of the factory. Jiwon, once again, thought to himself that it would've been preferable to die that day, like the majority of humankind, the alarm signal ringing in his head.


	2. RIP To My Youth

Day 60 – 

Throwing up an acid substance once or twice a day quickly became a natural routine to Jiwon, as much as losing his hair and coughing blood was one to Junhoe. A few days after their night in the factory, the young men had decided to settle in an abandonned house of Yohni-Dong. The inspection had took them hours, the house being much too big for only two persons, and they had came to the conclusion that the owners of the house were obscenely rich... at least rich enough to fly away from South Korea as soon as the rumor of a possible nuclear fission had begun to spread all over the country. Obviously, the house had been vandalized and emptied way before they arrived and they hadn't found anything to eat in the kitchen or the basement but on the 48th day, Junhoe had discovered a trapdoor under the living room's carpet. Then, a tight and wobbly staircase had led them straight into what looked like a food reserve, almost as wide as an actual grocery store. Jiwon had already heard about some wealthy people preparing for the end of the world even before the rest of Earth's population found out about its possibility but he had never believed it until that day. 

-Holy shit...  
-Bastards... They stocked all that stuff here and didn't even take it with them, they really don't give a damn uh ?  
-Maybe the alarm signal still took them by suprise... who knows.  
-And who cares ? 

That night, the two friend had stuffed their faces with a box of cookies and a few cereal bars before closing up the trapdoor and hiding it again under the carpet, just in case.

On the 60th day, Jiwon knew that despite the bit of weight he gained back thanks to the reserve, Junhoe wouldn't keep going for much longer. The younger spitted more and more blood everyday, the bed they shared was covered by his dark hair and he never boldly talked back to everything Jiwon said anymore. The older wondered what would happen once his friend passed away and he teared up several times a day because of it. For a month, Junhoe had been like a brother to him and he now felt closer to him than to anyone else... probably because they seemed to be the only ones left on Earth. Unfortunately, they weren't. That's why Jiwon was once again leaning against a front door in the middle of the night, praying to remain safe and sound. He monitored the house like this every night, Junhoe's gun in the crook of his arm while his friend slept (or tried to) in the bedroom. During the day, it was technically Jiwon's turn to sleep while Junhoe kept an eye on the neighbourhood but lately, the older let his friend rest and took care of everything by himself. In his past life, Jiwon had an older brother who had always took care of him and he tried his best to be that person to Junhoe. 

-Jiwon... Ji..won !

He jumped in his mid-sleep, woken up by Junhoe's call coming from upstairs. The gun dropped on his head and he swore louder than he wanted to before climbing the stairs in the dark. When he pushed the bedroom's door, he could barely distinguish Junhoe's body under the covers but he heard his loud breathing interspersed by violent coughs every now and then.

-Need something ?  
-I.. I'm feeling.. r-really bad right now...

Jiwon heart's tightened in his chest as he moved towards the bed. He hadn't seen his parents and brother die, had never actually realised that he would never see them again but Junhoe was right there in the unmade bed, slowly and painfully sinking into oblivion. The moonlight shed some light on the younger's pale skin in a gloomy way and Jiwon wondered if the universe was laughing in his face at this very moment, watching closely at the tears falling on his cheeks.  
He sat on the bed and softly put his left hand on his friend's chest, on his heart, while his right hand got lost into what was left of his hair. Maybe this wasn't as serious as he thought ? Maybe Junhoe wouldn't die ? He hoped so. If Jiwon had still believed in God, he would've prayed but he didn't know who he should've prayed to anymore. God certainly wouldn't have left his children destroy the entire humanity with nuclear bombs, right ? He sighed. It didn't mean anything anymore.

-Hyung... Jiwon, don't stay there... okay ? You're gonna get k-killed at some point.  
-I know.  
-Go now...  
-Are you fuckin' crazy now ? 'm staying.  
-I'm d-dying hyung.  
-Then, die quickly. I'm staying.

Junhoe hid his face against Jiwon's thigh and closed his eyes, his pale and trembling hands placed on his own shoulders like he was trying to give himself a hug. The silence reigning on Earth sounded even more deafening at night, even months after birds stopped singing or even existing. In this morbid quietness, Jiwon let himself be rocked by Junhoe's heartbeat, sometimes so loud and strong that it seemed to be ready to pop out of his chest, and sometimes so slow and noiseless that Jiwon had to check his pulse to make sure Junhoe was still alive. His burning eyes were begging him to sleep but he didn't have the courage to do so, sensing that he would be all alone when he'd wake up. Jiwon imagined a life without Junhoe, a day without being playfully hit for no reason and without a loud snoring to keep him compagny at night. He asked himself if he should simply let himself die, after all. He had nothing left, anyway : no family, no home, his only friend on his death bed and his organism being eaten alive by radiations. He was going to die rather soon one way or another and he knew it, so what was the use ? Nobody would come to save him or any of the other survivors left in the streets. They weren't multimillionaires and therefore didn't deserve to be saved.

-Jiwon...  
-Hmm ?  
-Thank you.

He didn't answer, not feeling the need to. Junhoe knew. He knew how much Jiwon loved him despite them knowing each other for only a month and he also know how thankful he was for this short period of time spent together. Jiwon wanted to say that he would keep fighting but he didn't want to say things he wasn't sure of. 

Junhoe died on the 61th day, while the cold sun rose on a world that didn't deserve to see it.


	3. Angel With A Shotgun

Day 70 -

Jiwon hated himself for the loss of his gun 'sling. His backpack, full of food from the reserve, water bottles and his pooh (which wouldn't stop smelling like Junhoe) was definitely heavy enough without having to carry the hunting gun in his hands while walking.  
He hadn't buried Junhoe, hadn't been brave enough to do so. He had felt a bit ashamed when he left the house of Yohni-dong after tucking his friend into bed, pretending he was peacefully sleeping and not irrevocably lost into the void. That didn't work. Junhoe's eyes were closed and his face relaxed, his slim body lying confortably on the matress but Jiwon knew and had spent a few long minutes sobbing next to the bed before finding the courage to get out of the now haunted place. 

Ten days later, Jiwon had walked for what felt like a billion miles before ending up in Cheorwon. He had felt on his knees in front of the town's welcome sign and had started sobbing once again without really knowing why. Nobody was there to see his ugly crying face anyway.  
Cheorwon was situated right at the border of North Korea where he had no wish to venture and even the simple realisation of him being so close gave him goose bumps. Jiwon didn't know anything about politics and never watched TV in his past life but he still was convinced that the world's death sentence had been signed the second North Korea had acquired the nuclear weapon. The Nuclear War had been quick, so quick that most people still doubted its existence when the alarm signal had reverberated all over the country, before reaching the rest of the world. The wealthiest and most influent korean citizens had flew away to Europe in an attempt to survive but unfortunately, they were next. A Russian nuclear power station had litteraly blew off, intoxicating a pretty big part of the country, a catastrophy ten times more severe than Tchernobyl's, several centuries ago. Then it had been France's turn, radiations going up to the British and killing nearly all of the Spanish and Portuguese in one go. As for the United States, they had attacked a second too late the Korean Enemy and a rumor said that only the young billionaires and the top executives had survived, hidden underground in luxurious bunkers built many years in advance, just in case. According to Junhoe, 70% of world population had been destroyed but Jiwon had never really trusted his maths skills. Furthermore, he had no idea of what happened to Africa or South America and couldn't stop himself from hoping that maybe, just maybe... No. He would never get there, anyway. He'd be killed before reaching the ocean, by radiations or by the other survivors. And even if he succeeded to reach the water somehow, it'd be no use : he had never learned how to sail. 

Jiwon sighed and the sound resonated on the walls of the abandonned ruin he had settled in. If he remembered his history classes well -and had correctly read the sign on the front door-, he was in the Workers party of South Korea's headquarters and the empty place made him feel depressed. He had stopped on his way to this place in a grocery store where he had only found a small bag of potato chips and a soda bottle, both forgotten under a checkout machine. He had consumed half of his findings right away and kept the rest for later with the reserve's food. He had checked his hideout's neighbourhood and insides twice, just to be sure that he was alone and had finally found a comfortable couch to take a nap on but couldn't sleep. He was staring at the ceiling, his heart pounding into his chest and acid coming up his throat, as usual. Joys of radiations. He suddenly started regretting not knowing more about Junhoe. He didn't know if his friend had siblings, if he had any other talent than carrying a gun or breaking windows with his fist. He missed Junhoe dearly and the deadly silence reigning on Cheorwon made him terribly anxious. However, his tiredness from walking so much and his aching body were stronger than his sad thoughts and he finally fell asleep. 

-Hey. Hey!

Jiwon jumped in his sleep and opened his eyes on a young man with hollow cheeks, dark rings under wide brown eyes and... a shotgun barrel tightly pressed between his two eyes. He wondered if all of his encounters would go like this now and he stopped himself from snorting. He should've been afraid but after all, what difference would it make if he died right now ? None.

-Hello ?  
-Who are you ?  
-The name's Jiwon.  
-Where did you come from ?  
-Seoul.  
-How is it over there ?  
-Er... Rather awful. There's at least a hundred survivors but they went fuckin' nuts because of radiations or trauma or starving, don't know and don't care. Whatever, I don't suggest it if you wanted to do some tourism.

The other man was breathing way too loud and it kind of pissed Jiwon off. Finally, he lowered his gun and Jiwon noted that the stranger had already thrown his backpack and weapons at the other end of the room... but had left him his pooh. How sweet.

-Hanbin.  
-Hanbin ?  
-Just Hanbin.  
-Ok... and what can I do for you, Hanbin ?  
-Hungry.  
-Oh. Then... eat, treat yourself man, there's ceral bars, cookies, fuckin' yogurts, I don't even remember what's in my stuff.

Hanbin 'stomack growled in an awful sound and they both cringed. The intruder rushed to Jiwon's backpack and started emptying it, potato chips falling all over him. He then started eating them right from the floor and Jiwon laid back on the couch, watching him but still feeling completely unbothered by his food being eaten by a perfect stranger. He didn't care. He was going to die anyway. However, Hanbin seemed to be the reasonnable type because after swallowing the rest of the chips, a yogurt and drinking all of the soda, he put everything back in place and laid down on the floor, eyes closed and a content smile on his face.

 

-Been here for a long time ?  
-I was in the army but it went down the crapper too fast and... I don't know, everybody died at once.  
-Yeah... Same in Seoul.  
-I'm from there too.  
-Oh. Believe me, you don't wanna go back.  
-You're alone ?  
-I am.

Jiwon heart's tightened and he thought that maybe that was its natural position now, tight and heavy into his chest. He realized that he must absolutely not get too attached to Hanbin, because the guy certainly was going to die the next day or something. And so was he. Nonetheless, he wasn't against a bit of company. 

-Same... I used to hang out with this guy from my regiment, Donghyuk, but he completely lost it out of the blue and shot himself in the face.

Jiwon shuddered and attempted to erase the bloody vision already forming in his mind. Fuck, did he always say scary shit like this without even flinching ? He wondered if Hanbin had always been like this or if it was just a consequence of surviving the apocalypse. Maybe both. Whatever it was, he would never get used to it.

-Are you going to kill me and keep my food ?

Hanbin looked like he was seriously thinking about it for a minute or two, his eyes still closed, but then he shook his head no. 

-Nah, too late. You have a name and shit now, I would feel too bad. Plus, you sleep with a fuckin' stuffie, it would feel like killing a kid. I don't like the idea.  
-You don't look that old either.  
-Twenty two.  
-Then, I'm may be hyung to you.  
-Want me to kiss your feet too ? You're Jiwon and that's it.

Jiwon smiled for the first time since Junhoe's death.


	4. Warriors

Day 85

Jiwon was well placed to know how bored one could possibly get after being alone for a long time but he had never felt bored enough to gather as much toothbrushes as he could, just because. Hanbin, somehow, had been that bored. 

-Two hundred and thirty-four fuckin' toothbrushes man! Amazing, uh?  
-I... guess? Two would've been enough, tho.  
-You're no fun.

Jiwon didn't see how owning two hundred and thirty-four «fuckin' toothbrushes» had anything to do with fun but he didn't feel like arguing with Hanbin that day. He had quickly realized that they disagreed on pretty much everything, from choosing a good place to spend the night to their music taste. Jiwon liked cool hideouts hidden from the sun and Hanbin liked warm cars where he could curl himself up in the back seat. Jiwon needed to walk everyday, at least to stretch his legs while Hanbin avoided as much as possible any physical effort. Jiwon was a cat person but Hanbin only liked dogs. Well, this didn't matter anymore, but still. Despite all of those disagreements, Jiwon was glad to have Hanbin. The guy wasn't annoying, far from it, just a bit... weird. The older blamed the radiations for it. What he liked best about Hanbin was that he never spit blood onto the floor or his own hands and was looking very much alive and healthy... at least as healthy as someone could possibly be while rationing food and sleeping two hours a night. That was everything that mattered to Jiwon. He missed Junhoe, obviously, but tried not to think about him too much because then he would feel terribly anxious and nauseous. 

-So, you change your toothbrush everyday?  
-Hell yeah I do, 'cause I can!

Hanbin was looking so proud of himself that Jiwon couldn't help but to chuckle. Well, okay, he had to admit that it was funny. Two hundred and thirty-four toothbrushes. 

-How do you know they're clean?  
-'got 'em from the military reserve, we used those to clean the floor but always got new ones.

Jiwon cringed. Wow... while his whole family was tightening its belt in order to live decently, the army was spending that much money for toothbrushes. Maybe humans really had got what they deserved, after all. As time passed, he became more and more convinced of it. Nevertheless, thinking about those things were no use and he quickly got his mind back and brushed his teeth for the first time in weeks. There were toothbrushes in the Yonhi-dong house but they had been used already and Jiwon clearly preferred to clean his mouth by scrubbing toothpaste on his teeth with his fingers. He didn't even underline the fact that Hanbin had waited eleven whole-ass days to tell him about his toothbrushes, because that definitely sounded like Hanbin. Weird, wanton, bizarre. He shrugged, savoring the sensation of the brush scrubbing all over his tongue. He could deal with a little bit of weird. 

-Move, I need to shave.

Hanbin pushed him away from the sink with his hip, shaving cream in his hand. Obviously. Jiwon should've guessed it but he somehow thought that Hanbin had a naturally smooth skin. It suited him well, after all. The younger spread cream all over the bottom of his face and started carefully shaving on his jawline.

-You're really going to waste water for that shit?  
-Nope, I use the river's water.  
-You wanna die?  
-Gonna happen anyway man, we're inhaling that toxic shit all day everyday.

Hanbin picked up from the floor a bottle apparently full of the river's poisonous water and Jiwon shrugged once again. The dumbass isn't wrong, he thought, we're going to die rather soon anyway. 

-Okay, hand me some cream, I miss my smooth face.  
-I knew you were gonna say that!  
-Won't I get nasty pimples?  
-You got nasty pimples already.

Well, the dumbass wasn't wrong. 

 

Later that day, Jiwon was stroking his own face while maintaining a fire set by Hanbin, as usual. Jiwon had never learned how to start a fire but Hanbin did it so effortlessly that it seemed to be the easiest thing in the world. Ironically, the younger still struggled to put on a sweater without getting his head stuck in the process. They didn't have to stay outside but it was Jiwon's turn to chose their night camp and he liked being rocked by the wind after spending so much time confined in his old apartment and the Yohni-dong house. 

-It's freezing, I hate you.  
-Go sleep somewhere else, then.  
-You'll die without me.

Hanbin turned on his side, laying on the floor right next to the fire and Jiwon heard him mumbling something about him not even being able to start a “damn freakin' fire”. He smiled.

-Hanbinah?  
-Don't call me that.  
-Hanbin?  
-Yeah?  
-Who were you?  
-... the fuck you're talking about?

Jiwon chuckled and swallowed his last piece of dried corn from the reserve before laying his back on the floor. Above him, the dark sky looked depressingly empty. Jiwon hadn't seen a cloud for months, or felt rain dripping on his face. He thought this was a pity as he had always liked rainy days but he had seen worse. Talking about worse things to worry about, his arms gradually turning red and itchy started to seriously bother him. He scrubbed his left arm on the hard ground beneath him, perfectly knowing that it would make him bleed but not caring one bit. As long as he didn't spit blood everywhere, he was okay. But still, it was annoying.

-Who were you before the world ended?  
-Hanbin.  
-No shit Sherlock.  
-I was pretty much the same guy.  
-I was a rapper.  
-Whatever you say, Eminem.  
-Eh! I'm serious man, underground rapper, I swear!  
Hanbin turned on his back again so Jiwon could see at least the outlines of his face in the dark. He wondered if the younger was making fun of him or genuinely smiling. You could never know with this guy. 

-B.I  
-What?  
-My rapper name, it's B.I.

Okay, you really could never know. 

-Bobby.  
-Nice to meet you.

Hanbin smiled wider and kept staring at the sky while Jiwon couldn't take his eyes off him. Hanbin looked so young, pimples still adorning his forehead, nose and chin, a beanie hiding his messy hair and bitten nails on his damaged hands. Jiwon found him fascinating, in a sad way maybe. Hanbin looked like he could've become someone important, someone special, if the humankind had deserved it. 

-Freestyle?

Jiwon snorted. He cleared his throat, wondering if he still knew how top rap after almost three months of using his words only when needed. 

-Why not?

 

Hanbin was a better rapper than what Jiwon had excepted and he felt a bit guilty for underrating him. He honestly didn't know who had won their improvised battle but he didn't really care, too immersed in his contemplation of a sleeping Hanbin. Usually, Hanbin never fell asleep before Jiwon and the older sometimes suspected him of not sleeping a all for days but that night, Hanbin was snoring lightly, his face half covered by an Army jacket with his name tag on it. Kim Hanbin, Private First Class. Jiwon could definitely imagine him training hard as a soldier, and being a good one... was being a good soldier a thing? Could he really associate anything army-like with the idea of good? He didn't think so. 

However, his philosophical reflection about right and wrong did not distract him from Hanbin's peaceful face. He looked so calm and innocent, Jiwon could've cried. He never saw Hanbin like this. But at this moment, the only thing he could see was how young and lost his friend was, maybe even more than Jiwon himself. The younger suddenly jumped in his sleep but his eyes remained closed. He started mumbling things Jiwon couldn't quite understand, random words and name, broken sounds and a few desperate moans. Jiwon thought about waking him up but changed his mind, not wanting to embarrass Hanbin. He would be okay. Nightmares never killed anyone. After a few long minutes, rocked to sleep by Hanbin' sleepy mumbling, Jiwon fell asleep.

When he woke up, the fire was extinguished and Hanbin nowhere in sight.


	5. Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many of you are reading this fic? I'm really curious!

_Day 86_

 

Jiwon was used to wake up to an absent Hanbin. The younger rarely slept and was constantly wandering around their area, looking for things to eat and potential survivors even though Jiwon warned him about them being dangerous. The kid was stubborn and Jiwon gave up around their third day spent together in Cheorwon, thus he wasn't worried about his friend missing for the umpteenth time. After quickly swallowing a cereals bar, he headed towards the headquarters where they had settled for the daytime (remaining in the same place every night still being too risky) and brushed his teeth until his gums started bleeding. He spit in the sink and rinsed it with the river's water, fighting the urge to take a sip of it. They had to restrict their bottled water so he wouldn't drink it until he was literally dying of thirst but he never thought poisonous water could look so tempting. 

He glanced at his reflection in the mirror and cringed : he almost didn't recognize himself anymore. His gaunt face was stained by a few red spots here and there, his dark eyes lined by deep, dark circles, his chapped lips just as painful as they looked and the skin of his neck now was as inflamed as his arms'. His messy hair fell on his eyes in dirty tangles smelling like grease and wood fire. He looked away and suddenly squatted down to rummage through Hanbin's emergency kit and find the rusty scissors kept here by the younger for some reason. In his past life, his mom always cut his hair, once or twice a year, just so they wouldn't get too long and make him look like "a dirty punk", as she always said. Jiwon smiled at this memory and focused really hard on it. How did she do it, already? Fuck, he should've paid more attention when he had the occasion. Okay, he got this, he just had to cut a few strands there... and there... equalize on the sides with his razor... 

  
  


-Oh shit!

  
  


The disposable razor fell in the sink and he helplessly observed a thick strand of brown hair falling and scattering all over the white tiles. He took a look at the disaster in the mirror : on the right side, a small yet clearly noticeable part of his scalp was now completely bald. He stared at his reflection for a few seconds, flabbergasted... then bursted out laughing.

  
  


-Oh shit that's awful!

  
  


He kept on laughing for a few minutes, the loud sound reverberating on the walls of the empty building. This was definitely the funniest thing that happened since the apocalypse. That, or he was going crazy. Maybe both. Whatever. He ended up completely shaving both sides of his head and let the messy bundle on the top fall back in a weird undercut look. He started at himself once again, turning his head right, then left, posing in front of the mirror and genuinely smiling. That would be fine, he didn't have anyone to impress anyway, apart from Hanbin... Talking of Hanbin, where the hell was he? Jiwon frowned, back to reality after his imaginary photoshoot.

When the headquarters' old clock showed noon, he started to feel like something bad had happened. He grabbed his cleanest (at least, less dirty) hoodie and pulled it over his head before exiting the building, the cold wind making him shiver. He looked all around him, wondering where he would go if he was Hanbin. Who knew? The kid was plain weird. Jiwon called out the younger's name then mentally slapped himself : who just yelled like this in the middle of nowhere when he could be murdered for a piece of dried corn? He started walking towards the river, his gun settled in his belt behind his hoodie and pressing on his hip at every step, reminding him of its reassuring presence. If Hanbin wasn't at the river, he would wait for him there, as the younger often went to fill a few bottles to shave, shower or clean his butt after taking a dump. Life as survivors was definitely too classy. When Jiwon reached the river's bank, he sighed in relief : Hanbin was there, sitting on the ground and stone skipping like in a scene from a bad philosophic movie. The younger didn't notice Jiwon's arrival (which was kind of surprising) so the latter moved towards him and sat on the ground right next to Hanbin who suddenly jumped, taken by surprise.

  
  


-Fuck!

  
  


His hand was already on his shotgun laying on his right side but he put it back down right away when he saw Jiwon mocking smile. He coughed, chocking on his own saliva and hit Jiwon on the shoulder while the older wouldn't stop laughing.

  
  


-That's not funny you asshole! I could've died! 

-Being a chicken never killed anyone, kiddo.

-I should've shot you when I had the occasion.

-But you didn't! Too baaaad!

  
  


Jiwon, for some reason, was feeling ecstatic. Maybe because of his new haircut or maybe because he had been truly worried about Hanbin being dead or dying. If he had to be really honest with himself, he would have recognized that he was feeling good now that Hanbin was there, alive and well, and only for that reason. 

  
  


-What are you up to, Hanbinah-

-Don't call me that.

-I was worried.

-Why?

-You usually come back to our place earlier in the day...

-Our place?

  
  


Jiwon swallowed.  _ Our place.  _ He said it without thinking, like it was natural.  _ Their place _ . Why was this so familiar... oh. Jiwon cringed. Junhoe used to say the Yohni-dong house was  _ their place,  _ too _.  _ He cuddled up his own hoodie, trying not to think about it too much but the memory of Junhoe slowly dying, his breath becoming less and less hot on Jiwon's thigh, wouldn't leave his mind. Fuck. He looked around him, trying to distract himself.

  
  


-Jiwon?

-Uh?

-You spaced out.

-Oh... sorry.

-That's fine.

  
  


Hanbin threw another flat stone into the river and followed his quick course on the water with his dark eyes. After several minutes of a deadly silence, Jiwon finally noticed the army travel bag next to his friend.

  
  


-We're going somewhere?

-I am.

-What? Where?

-Seoul.

-Why? Hanbin, I told you, there's nothing to see there and...

-My family is there.

  
  


Jiwon heart tightened. Hanbin's family certainly was dead : the immense majority of Seoul was. He didn't know why Hanbin suddenly wanted to find them but he suspected his nightmare from the previous night of being the culprit. He thought about a nice way to say it.  _ "Hey, your family's dead, no need to walk for almost two weeks to see their dead bodies rotting in your living-room, man" ?  _  No. Definitely not like that. 

  
  


-Hanbin...

-I'm going. You don't have to follow me if you don't want to.

-I don't think it's a-

-I know. I don't care. My sister was only three, she needs me, she... there's a chance!

  
  


Was there really a chance? Jiwon didn't think so. How long could a three-years-old toddler survive alone? What were the chances of a three-years-old toddler of even surviving radiations in the first place? 

  
  


-Is it because of your nightmare?

-She called me Jiwon... in my dream... she was there, right there, calling me and... fuck.

  
  


Hanbin wiped his tears with the sleeve of his sweater and sniffed loudly. Jiwon could perfectly understand what this was about : he had those dreams, too. But he knew they weren't reality and Hanbin had to understand it. 

  
  


-All the walking is going to kill you, you won't go-

-I don't care.

-It's not worth-

-You don't understand!

-I do! But you won't find her, okay? Even if she's not dead-

-She's fucking not!

-She is! And everyone we've ever loved is too! They're dead! Get over it!

  
  


Hanbin remained quiet for a few seconds, his eyes lost behind Jiwon on something that surely wasn't even there. Jiwon bit his lips, desperately wanting to take his words back. He had crossed the line but he just was so worried and stressed and sad and-

  
  


-Go away Jiwon.

-Hanbin...

-I said go away!

  
  


Jiwon had never heard Hanbin shouting before that day and the hoarse voice gave him unpleasant goosebumps. He didn't want to hurt his friend but he surely wouldn't even make it to Seoul anyway and it was dangerous and not worth it and completely crazy and he didn't want Hanbin to die, not like Junhoe, not like his family, not like the whole fucking world and fuck, he didn't want to go away!

  
  


-Please...

  
  


Hanbin brutally pushed him and got up, grabbing his bag and shotgun before walking away so rapidly that Jiwon could barely see him in the horizon when he finally came back to his senses. He jumped on his feet and ran after Hanbin, struggling not to trip on the rocks scattered all over the ground. When he reached his friend, the latter kept walking, only looking in front of him.

  
  


-Hanbin, please! I didn't want to say that, okay? It's just that...

  
  


Suddenly, Hanbin stopped, taking Jiwon by surprise and almost making him fall on his ass. The older smiled, relieved, but Hanbin didn't say anything. Instead of that, the younger lifted his gun and pressed it between Jiwon's eyes, just like the day they had met. Jiwon shuddered, his body now drenched in a cold sweat. He wanted to close his eyes but couldn't, overwhelmed by terror and regret. There was a million things he wanted to say but none of them seemed to be good enough.

  
  


-Stay there, okay? Don't move. I'm going to walk away and you won't fucking move until I'm out of your sight, understand?

-Han-Hanbin!

-Shut up!

  
  


Hanbin pressed the gun harder in Jiwon's forehead, making the older almost whine in fear. He didn't know when death had become so terrifying, but it was. He closed his eyes, tears dripping on his cheeks and chin.

  
  


-Understand?

-Y-yeah, ok-okay. 

-Good.

  
  


The younger lowered his gun, sighed and walked away. Jiwon didn't move. He cried. 

 


End file.
